I #StandWithPP Because I’m a Woman Who Likes to F*ck

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This isn’t a post about the videos. Others have already written and proven very eloquently that the videos are highly emotionally manipulative pieces of garbage. I’m not going to sit here and tell you everything else Planned Parenthood does other than abortions, because then I would be apologizing for the fact that they perform abortions. This isn’t a post about how they screen for cancer and prevent disease.

This is a post about f*cking.

Specifically, that I like to do it. As much as I can. With whomever I please (currently one very awesome dude. Hey boo!).

I’m sorry, does that make you uncomfortable? Are you squirming in your chair like a twelve year old in health class? Do you feel like I shouldn’t be saying this publicly, that this is attention-seeking, that it’s none of your business? Well honey, I would absolutely agree that it’s none of your business, except that roughly half of the country has decided to make it their business. I didn’t bring this up. I’m not on the street wearing a sandwich board that says “LET’S GET DOWN IN POUND TOWN.” (Although that sounds like fun and something I totally would have done five years ago. If anyone is inspired, plz post pics.) I’m simply making a statement that shouldn’t shock anyone: I’m a grown-ass woman who likes to do grown-woman thangs, and that includes f*cking. And guess what, I agree with you that it’s a ridiculous thing to say publicly. Because it’s sad and disappointing that a woman claiming to enjoy her body is making a radical statement.

Yesterday, during the Capitol Hill hearing to de-fund Planned Parenthood, women across the country decided to deFEND Planned Parenthood (you see what I did there? heh) with a national Pink-Out day. Using the #StandWithPP hashtag, thousands of women showed support by being brutally honest about their own experiences with Planned Parenthood. Some stories were deeply emotional confessions of unwanted pregnancies. Women came out of the woodwork to frankly discuss the circumstances surrounding their abortions with the hashtag #ShoutYourAbortion. Women discussed life-saving cancer screenings that caught breast cancer early. Women with ovarian cysts and other dangerous hormonal imbalances shared how hormonal birth control keeps them healthy.

It is extremely important that these women are able to continue to get the medical attention they need. But do you know what was missing from a lot of these conversations? Exuberant unapologetic celebration of sexual health.

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I don’t have ovarian problems. I don’t have breast lumps. I haven’t had an abortion. But you know what I do have? Sex. Aaaaalllllll the time. And Planned Parenthood has been there for me every step of the way from just about the very beginning of my sex life. Now, my parents are amazing people and both of them are feminists. My dad (I LOVE YOU DAD!) set up my first gynecological appointment when I was fifteen and I got my horny little ass on birth control. But just because my parents were supportive doesn’t mean that I wanted them to be all up in my personal business. When I had questions that were too embarrassing to ask my older sister–primarily because asking those questions would be tantamount to admitting that I was having sex–I went to the Planned Parenthood on Sheridan and Devon in Chicago’s Rogers Park neighborhood. One of the reasons Planned Parenthood is so important is because there needs to be a safe place where young people can receive basic and VITAL information about sex. Information like, oh, it isn’t supposed to hurt. I ran over to the Planned Parenthood when I was freaking out over a random bump on my vulva (it was a zit! I had no idea you could get zits there! Gross!). During my freshman year of college I was so stressed that I didn’t have my period for five months. I had multiple Planned Parenthood visits because I was concerned that I was pregnant. In my twenties if a partner couldn’t remember the last time he was tested, I dragged his ass over there. I was having lots of sex myself, so I got tested multiple times a year because it’s not only important to be healthy, but it’s also important to not be an asshole. In my current SUPER AWESOME monogamous relationship, our sexual life together started at Planned Parenthood. We love each other, and we want each other to be healthy and happy, so we didn’t have sex until we had been fully tested and knew with certainty that we had a clean bill of sexual health. Sitting together in the waiting room was one of the cutest, dearest moments in our relationship. We were excited, and why not? We were TOTALLY going to have sex!!!

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It’s important that women have access to hormonal birth control so that they can manage hormonal imbalances. It’s important for women who are not prepared to be mothers, for a myriad of reasons, to have access to safe and legal abortions. it is equally important to have access to birth control because women have a right to enjoy their bodies without the looming fear of pregnancy.

Having control of our reproductive rights is essential to sexual equality. Safe sex is a basic human right that is as important as shelter and food. Women deserve to enjoy their bodies and take control of their sexual lives with as much power and autonomy–and pleasure!–as men do.

At the base of the arguments against Planned Parenthood is a belief that women are expected to shoulder extreme consequences for enjoying sex. It implies that pregnancy is a punishment women deserve, and that women who need abortions are irresponsible. The reality is that taking charge of your body is one of the most responsible choices a human being can make, and there are those who believe women aren’t capable of making that decision for themselves. So, I’m sorry if you were irritated or uncomfortable hearing about my sex life. But if you want to control the reproductive rights of women without hearing these essential details of women’s lives, then maybe you shouldn’t kid yourself about how “pro-life” you are. 

Oh, and by the way…..happy HUMP DAY EVERYONE! 🙂

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